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May 07, 2007
RIP, Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor
Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor at MidState Office Supply, has sadly passed. Kornfeld was noted for his commentary on office life and his skills and quickness in completing mundane office tasks:
I gots skillz, mutha----as. Shit be COLLATED. Copier out of toner? I be all over that shit, 'cuz only I can replace tha Hewlett-Packard toner cartridge without gettin' all that inky powder shit all over tha insides.I so phat, sometimes I gets done with my whole day's worth of tasks by 2 or 3 o'clock. But after I do, do I go back to my crib and chill? Hell no. I just open up tha afternoon mail what I usually be going through tha next mornin', and I start enterin' tha account payments on my accounts ledga. Or I assists tha Posse in preparin' the monthly statements. You won't never catch tha H-Dog sleepin' on tha job, bruthas and sistas.
Mr. Kornfeld's dedication in getting the numbers right was particularly admirable. Consider this episode, as described by Mr. Kornfeld:
Yo, check it out, Gs: Last week, that freaky ho Judy from tha wack-ass Accountz Payabo krew steps to mah fly cubicle, all smilin' an' shit. I thought she wuz straight trippin'."Bitch, flag yo' ass back to tha A.P. before I go buckwild on yo' ass," I say. "I gots a variance here what needs reconcilin', an' I gots no time foe distractions from some A.P. ho."
No diggity, mah homeys. There wuz a negative $194.07 balance in tha subsidiary accountz-reecevable ledga, an' it needed to be balanced wit' a quickness, lest tha controlling account look all fucked up. Tha Code O' The H-Dog say, shit gots to be balanced before tha end o' tha bidness day. It a matter of HONOR.
For more writing from Kornfeld, visit here.
Posted by adrianjo at May 7, 2007 06:09 PM