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January 02, 2006
You know you're from New York City when...
- You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.
- You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
- Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
- You're terrified by the thought of going to dinner without a reservation
- The subway makes sense.
- You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
- You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
- You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a large closet and you think it's a "steal."
- You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
- You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.
- You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
- You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are already in bed.
- Your closet is filled with black clothes.
- You take fashion seriously.
- Going to Brooklyn is a "road trip."
- Your jaywalking skills are down to an art form.
- You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
- $50 worth of groceries fit in one bag.
- You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
- You don't notice sirens anymore.
- You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.
- Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.
- You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
- Your door has more than three locks.
- You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
- You go to bodegas
- You are annoyed by B&T
- You know how to fold the Wall St. Journal in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.
- Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet
- Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.
Posted by adrianjo at January 2, 2006 01:06 PM