« Pop made the front page | Main | Coming Untied »
October 10, 2005
Attention wireless listeners
I recorded a radio program tonight for War News Radio. I will post it as soon as I have a copy. It will probably be broadcast in a few weeks.
This isn't the first time I was on the radio; the first was live in college at the university station, where we had a ribald conversation that probably should have brought on an FCC fine, were anyone listening. I remember something about Deep Throat. I was thinking of the watergate guy and apparently the hosts were talking about sex. It reminds me of when Mr. Burns went on the radio trying to convince people he's not evil:
Rude: How are you doing, Mr. Burns? Jerry Rude. Welcome to the show.Burns: I'm pleased to--
Rude: Alright, let's get this geezer out quick so we can bring in the lesbian gladiators.
Burns: Now, Mr. Rude, I just want you to know I'm a good sport, so if you want to make fun of my legendary love of cashews, you have at it!
Rude: Uh-huh... Alright, how many times a day do you go to the can?
Burns: Oh, about 40, I suppose. When are we going on the air?
Rude: We're on the air now, Skeleton.
Burns: What?!
Rude: Question two: How long is your wiener, seriously?
Burns: Great heavens! What kind of radio show is this?
Rude: How about this -- when was your first gay experience?
Burns: Oh, well, when I was six, my father took me on a picnic. That was a gay old time! Oh-ho, I ate my share of wieners that day.
Rude: Oh, that sounds lovely. [coughs "queer"] Um, ever murder anybody?
Burns: Murder? Well, mistakes have been made.
Rude: Monty, I've heard you're a pretty flatulent guy. Any comment on that?
Burns: Oh, now see here--[Rude presses a button making fart noises] Stop that! Attention wireless listeners, most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me! Oh stop! Stop! Won't someone please stop the farting! [collapses on the floor]
Rude: Don't worry, folks, he's not dead. I still hear some faint sounds of life. [makes fart noises]
The improvement in radio technology is amazing. We edited the program to splice different versions in the middle of words (e.g. "scandal"), take out breathy sounds, enlongate certain words, and change the pitch of others.
For my national television debut in May 2005, click here. Unlike in radio, in TV it's not particularly easy to edit out the "ums."
Posted by adrianjo at October 10, 2005 10:57 PM